Monday, August 31, 2009

Times They Are A-Changing

Today is a strange day for me, and here's why: My brother and sister are having 1st days of college today, while I, clearly, am not. In fact, I have completed college. There are no more first days of school for me (at least not in the foreseeable future. Your loss, Central School. Your loss). How can that be?! How can something that has been such a MAJOR part of my life (and indeed lives of most everyone I know) for the past 19 years suddenly be over?

Ok, ok, its not sudden at all. In fact, it has been a slow transition into this point that has been 4 months in the making. But STILL, all of a sudden, I, Ashleigh, the seemingly perpetual student am a student no longer. I feel as though my identity has somehow been altered and I'm not exactly sure who this new, "adult", "real world" Ashleigh is. I am having a lot of trouble finding my feet as things seem to settle around me.

I have returned to the homeland of California to discover something strange-- in the time I was away, both in Washington and my extensive stint in the glorious New York City, California ceased to actually be my homeland. Surely, it is where my parents live, it is where I hail from, but at some point my time in New York went from living at school to creating a life there. And now that I'm back in California, 3,000 miles away from the new home I'd begun to create, I am overwhelmed by a feeling of disconnect. I am lost in my own tiny hometown because I'd begun to create an entirely new hometown in the Big Apple. I know so few people here anymore, I am connected to so few organizations here (much to my detriment. I need a job) that I feel just as I felt 3 years ago when I moved to New York: down, homesick, and nervous about all the unknown things I will face here. I haven't ever really lived as an adult in California, at least not as the kind of pretend adult I became in NYC.

All of this being said, here is my declaration to you, dear singular blog reader:

We (you and I) are about enter entirely new renaissance territory here. I'd forgotten that I began this whole silly blog thing with this idea of renaissance, or, as my favorite definition of the magnificent word put it "a period of vigorous artistic and intellectual activity." With this in mind, I pledge to you, O blogosphere, that I am going to step into the future, as uncertain as it may seem, with this definition constantly in mind. Everything I do from this point forward will serve increase the vigor of my artistic and intellectual activity. I have literally NO idea what this will actually mean or how it will manifest itself, but hopefully it will become clearer to me time goes by. I promise to share any insights I gain from this little life experiment.

Let me begin this renaissance with a little photography, which, while not a new artistic medium for me, will hopefully see a vigorous rise in practice (and perhaps publication) in the coming months.
A little Santa Cruz, CA at Sunset for ya.

1 comment:

  1. First of all you will always be a student of the world and don't you forget it! Knowledge and new ideas are ready and waiting to seep into your being!!

    Second, I can't wait to see what art and adventures lie ahead!