I Pity the Fool

It's officially April 1, which means it's April Fools' Day.  Now, my entire life (all 21 years of it), this day has perplexed me.  Seriously, I don't get it.  What's the point?  It's one day a year where you get to be a total asshole and lie to everyone around you/play jokes on them. And this is supposed to be fun?  Really?  Honestly, I don't get it.

Here's a day that no one even knows the origins of--there is apparently more than one historical instance of people acting stupid and getting mocked for it, which was so much fun that they designated a special day in the calendar when you could mock people as much as you desired (um...isn't every day Feel-Free-to-Mock-People Day?  Welcome to free will, people).

I've only played a few April Fools' jokes in my life, mostly when I was, like, 8 because, well, acting like an asshole is hilarious when you are 8.  My mom and I spent the better part of an hour sewing all my father's underwear together and switching the sugar he puts in his morning coffee to salt....Yeah, I don't know what this was supposed to accomplish, other than make my dad mad but unable to punish me because I said those magic words: "APRIL FOOLS'!"  Seriously?  I wish that this sort of thing worked as an adult.  It's like if you could say "No tag backs" in the professional world and have it be legitimate.  Or pinky swearing.  What if pinky swears had the same power as laws.  How AWESOME would that be?

I almost feel bad for hating April 1st.  It's not the 1st's fault that everything and anything said on this day is thought to be a lie and questioned repeatedly.  For example, via the glory of Facebook, one of my school friends has just posted that she is now engaged to be married.  Of course, I congratulated her, as many other people did, but one person asked the very prudent question-- IS THIS YOUR APRIL FOOLS' JOKE?  Now I've spent the last hour wondering if it was true or not, questioning whether or not this person is a big fat liar.  That's terrible, right?  And what if it's true?  I'll have just spent 24 hours thinking this person sucks when I should be happy for them. (UPDATE: She was totally lying.  There's no engagement.  April Fools! *snarky face*).

Hating aside, there are some things I do like about April Fools' Day thing.  My favorite thing is that millions of people seem to forget about it, even on the day itself.  That's how people end up duped, like the ENTIRE state of Alabama, who in 1998 were convinced that the state legislature was changing the value of pi from 3.14 to the "Biblical value" of 3.0. Way to go, Alabama.  Or what about the good people of Glastonbury, CT, who were convinced that the state had passed a law limiting families to .75 children per household?  Really, Glastonbury?  Really?  How might the government enforce such a law?  What does .75 children mean, anyway?Guess we're going to have to cut off some of little Timmy's limbs, ay?

What I'm saying is I think there are better uses of our time on April 1st.  Instead of gluing everything in your roommate's room to the ceiling in exactly the same place, do something nice for someone else.  Save a puppy, smile at a stranger, help an old lady across the street, donate money to poor children around the world who can't afford to think up elaborate pranks to play on unsuspecting neighbors and friends.  Be humans.  Good ones.