Wednesday, April 27, 2011


I've been thinking lately about those choices that lie ahead of us.  There are an infinite number of them just floating out there.  And at each moment, you can grab at any of them and, depending on which one your fingers hold onto tightest, the scenery changes.  Not to get all chaos theory up in here (mostly because I don't really understand it), but the ripples from these tiny changes extend in every direction and effect everything in front of you.  Isn't that just amazing?  I find this oddly comforting.

Whenever I am running late (which, to be honest, is often) and I find myself stressing over why the light won't change or why the person in front of me is driving like a 98,243,489 year old man, I usually stop and think to myself, "Ok, obviously I'm running late for a reason.  Is it to teach me the 'leave-earlier, why-don't-you?' lesson?  Or am I supposed to notice something here? I wonder who I am supposed to meet or what I am avoiding by sitting here."  (yes, it is a little bit self indulgent of me to say this.  Sometimes I'm late just because I'm easily distracted, but there are definitely other times when the universe puts things in my way.  I'm talking about those times). To me, this thought process takes a leap of faith.  It involves trusting that there is something out there much much smarter than me that is watching out for me as I move through the world.  I take comfort in this.  It is sort of beautiful, right?  I try not to imagine this being as a maniacal puppet master, pulling unseen strings (though it is a sort of unavoidable image, right?).  Rather, I like to think of it as warm, safe light ahead of me, illuminating the safest path.

So, what's ahead of me right now?  Well....the unknown.  Which is completely terrifying.  I realized yesterday that in a little more than 6 weeks, I'm officially done with my current job.  Like totally done.  Forever.  And as of right now, I have no plan.  Sure, I have things in the works (what up, The Violet?), but nothing concrete.  Part of me is completely terrified--what kind of crazy person wants to be unemployed with no plan?  And at the same time, another part of me is simultaneously calm and exhilerated because I trust that warm, guiding light completely.  As of right now it feels like that light is pointing me back towards my beloved NYC, which I literally couldn't be happier about, but that's not a definite. 

So stay tuned, folks.  Because times, they are a'changing.


  1. Dear Ashleigh,

    First of all I've like to say how much I love love love The Violet. It's one of those magazines that I enjoy reading over and over again because of all the amazing ideas in there. I actualy just put some flowers in a Mason Jar in my bedroom.

    Last month I was laid off from my job due to "department changed" and blah blah blah. I didn't know where to go from there either. I was turning 25, had an exorbitant amount of student loans, and a degree that I felt I wasn't going to be able to get a high paying job with. What worked for me was concentrating on where I wanted to be rather than what I wanted to do. I packed up my stuff from the east coast and moved to Hawaii where I didn't know anyone nor did I even have a job set up or a place to live. I've been here 3 weeks exactly and it's all working out.

    It's funny the way things come together. It might be that high power looking out for all of us. It is a terrifying time and you will have to complete obsticles but, as they say, it will only make you stronger. Good luck and keep your chin up. After reading that lovely magazine it is apparent that you will surely go far because of your positive attitude.


    P.S. my blog if you're interested:

  2. Mary! You are a brave girl! And you are totally right, at some point the only thing to do is to trust the universe, close your eyes, and jump. I'm so happy to hear that everything is working out for you! Thank you for your kind words and good luck to you too :)