Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Wilkomen from 2010

Ah! It's 2010! (I love these people)

Well hello, blog friends!
I hope the first few days of 2010 are treating you as well as they are treating me.  Currently, my dear friend, Marissa, is visiting from NYC and it. is. MAGICAL.  And, in fact, the perfect timing for a visit, as all the friends who had come home for the holidays just left, as well as my old friend Brent, who (possibly at this very moment) is en route to Guatemala for his Peace Corps posting, and so I was feeling particularly sad/left behind as I am still living at home in my parent's house, you know, eating bon bons or whatever.  Her visit is a welcome treat as everyone I know moves away and on to big adventures (it is really my own fault for a) having such awesome, world-saving-inclined friends and b) for only hanging out the aforementioned friends who are now leaving for the Peace Corps).  

I wish I had exciting stories or life insights to share in this first post of 2010, but alas, nothing particularly blog-worthy has occurred in the past few weeks (or, at least, nothing has happened that is blog-appropriate *ahem* New Years Eve *ahem*).  I am trying to live as balanced as I can, which involves 10 minutes of meditation every night before I go to bed.  I'm finding this an interesting practice as I have a really hard time quieting my mind.  I've done some reading up on the subject, and they all say something along the lines of "accept the thought and then let it pass on."  Unfortunately, when I do this, whatever is playing on a loop in my head (it's usually a song or a two second clip from movie) literally sticks its loop-y tongue out at me, gives me the metaphorical finger and starts playing even more intensely.  After trying the accepting-and-then-allowing-it-to-pass thing for a while, I then imagined a Giant's foot coming and squashing the looping sound or image, thinking that this would get them to stop.  WRONG.  The looping media continued to loop, except now it just sounded all deflated and scratched cd-esque.  I tried focusing on my breath, pulling focus away from the looping things in my imagination, but then they just shouted even louder at me (those cheeky bastards).  I even tried humming and imagining myself humming to try and pull focus, but alas, no quiet mind.  

Now I am DETERMINED to find a way to do this.  Why, do you ask?  Well mostly because I DON'T KNOW HOW TO RELAX.  "How can this be possible?" you wonder.  "Everyone knows how to relax.  It's what vacations are for."  But in my case, no matter how hard I try, I can never seem to get my mind and body into a sustained state of relaxation.  And that's the key-- a sustained state of relaxation.  Maybe I'm not being creative often enough or maybe I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop or something, but whatever the reason, I can't seem to do it.  Thus, New Years Resolution---BOOM.  As part of my resolution to live balanced, I am going to work on quieting my mind.  I also am going (hopefully) start doing yoga (I even picked up the info today in downtown), as a way to find balance in my body and in my mind.  

How do you find balance in your life?  What steps do you take?

1 comment:

  1. oh how I wish I knew. I feel more unbalanced than ever at the moment because I keep trying to fit myself into a role I was not meant for. when will I realize that I will never enjoy doing the dishes!? This is the longest period of "rest" I have ever had and it is driving me bananas. I not only want to find an inner calm, I want to find an outer action.