Perfect

This is just perfect.

I've Got the Music in Me

The dog* we're house sitting for doesn't really like it when I play the guitar.

He weighs 6 pounds and has a silly mustache so I don't really care what he thinks. (he's also a dog)

While he's in our house, I have to wait until he is completely distracted chewing on something to play the guitar. And while I know this is just because he is a tiny jerk (he's not), it does seem like the perfect metaphor for my singing/guitar playing--there always is a tiny jerk keeping me from doing it.

And most of the time that tiny jerk is me.

Because just like everyone, I am the one who gets in my way most of the time about most things. Especially music. Because there is nothing like the way I feel when I'm singing and playing the guitar, even if all I am doing is a ham-fisted cover of a song I love. For the two minutes or so that I'm wrapped up in a song I am wrapped up in it. Like a big comfy blanket, the music and the feelings envelop me. There is nothing else like it in the whole world.

I don't know where my fear comes from about singing/playing in front of people or with people but it is there and it is palpable. Maybe fear is the wrong word, maybe it is just hesitation. I hesitate before I play in front of someone (the singing isn't such a big deal to me, not quite sure why. Maybe it is because I've done it forever). It is like a physical barrier that I've got to leap over before I start playing. Once I'm over the barrier I'm totally fine but man, standing in front of it? It looks huge and insurmountable.

This is one of the lessons of my 25th year--to leap over the barrier. Especially for something that I really, REALLY like doing. Because on the other side, everything is just fine, even if I don't believe that pre-jump.

*to be clear, that is not the dog in these photos. The dog in these photos is my parent's dog, Matilda.

Stuck in My Head

This song is on a continuous loop in my head right now.  Not quite sure why, as it isn't super summery, but I'm in love with it.

Mixtape 5

In which I realize that "Mixtape" is a really terrible name for a series of single songs.  Woops.  Oh well, I'm committed now.

I love Mumford & Sons (or, as my father calls them, The Moving Company, which is, coincidentally, what I think I shall name my band).  They are all my age and just stupid talented.  Marcus has a voice that absolutely levels me (for reals, it sounds like it comes from his socks).  Plus they like reading (note the title of the song). Jerks.  Anyway, here they are, doing acoustic things and being fantastic.

Mixtape 4

Laura Marling is so much cooler than I will ever be, it is just ridiculous.  I love her 2nd record so much it is just silly.  I love this song in particular, especially since it is wicked fun to play on ye olde guitar.

Mixtape 3

Mixtape time!  Listening to Robyn makes me feel like I'm in middle school again (Show Me Love, anyone?) and I've got to tell you, I sort of love it.  A lot.

Mixtape 2

Friday means mixtape.  And this week I'm in love with Patrick Watson's "Man Like Me."  I mean, come on--the voice? the guitar playing? the silly beard? the fact that he's playing in his shower? What's not to love?

Mixtape 1

If you've ever met me, you know that I constantly am listening to music. There is rarely a time that I don't have something playing--while I'm getting dressed, in the car on the way to work, in my office, making dinner--9 times out of 10 there is a soundtrack running in the background (my family will tell you that this soundtrack puts them to sleep.  I happen to disagree with them).  I'm sure you all read in The Violet about making monthly mixtapes.  This is something that my girlfriends from college and I have done in the past as a great way to keep in touch since we are terrible at the phone (really, it's pathetic).  It is great because every month you get a new set of songs so your music library never gets stale.  I am lucky because in addition to these cds, my dear dear friend, Hilary, is a total audiophile (she is seriously considering a career as a Music Supervisor, which I think is just about the coolest thing ever) and makes kick-ass mixes.  Truly, my ears are always so much happier when she comes home to visit.  And because one person shouldn't keep all of this excellence to themselves, I'm going to start sharing.

Today's pick? Ryan Adams, "Come Pick Me Up."  Because no one has ever made the phrase "screw all my friends, they're all full of shit" sound so pretty.



Enjoy! (and thanks, Hil)

I'm Completely Obsessed...

...with this song by Band of Horses.  My dear friend Hilary put it on a mix she just gave me (she makes the best mixes!) and it is the perfect driving song.  So turn up your speakers as loud as they go and hit play.  You won't regret it.

Meet My New Friend

Lots people I know make lists of what they would like for Christmas, diligently writing out all their desires and turning it in like some sort of self-serving homework assignment--"These are the things you are allowed to buy me."  (though surely that is a gross generalization of the entire Christmas list process and not everyone goes into it like this.  For those of you who don't, I apologize for lumping you with all the other Christmas list makers)  In the Hill house we don't do this.  I literally can't remember a time that we ever made Christmas lists.  Instead we leave most of the present-giving up to chance and the other person's knowledge of the inner workings of your soul.  All 5 of us have lived under the same roof (as adults) for a while now (much to my chagrin, as you all well know), so we know that the other people in the house like.  Typically each person gets a "Big Gift" from "Santa" and then some smaller ones from other family members and the Holiday Armadillo (as a half Catholic, half Jew (or Cashew) we receive gifts from a number of holiday mascots).  This big gift is usually a big deal--the thing you've been wanting for the entire year.  Here is where the Christmas list idea comes into play--for the Big Gift, you are encouraged to make your wants known.  My brother wants a bike, he asks for a bike...a lot.  As a 20-something adult, I have sort of abandoned the Big Gift.  I generally have all the things I want or need, so it seems a little silly for me to ask for anything.  In fact, in years past I've asked my parents to forgo gift purchases in exchange for donations to Heifer International.  Last year they gave a goat and come chickens in my name.  It was awesome.

This year was no different.  The holiday season came around and there was nothing I really wanted.  So, I didn't ask for anything, figuring that my mom would find something silly and fantastic on her own (she once gave me a dulcimer as my big gift).  And in passing I mentioned to my little sister that I wanted to buy a ukulele, never expecting to find it under the tree on Christmas morning.  But, low and behold, Christmas morning came and there, sitting under the tree, was this new friend:

I haven't decided on a name for it but isn't it just the cutest thing you've ever seen?  It is comically tiny.  Add to it my gentleman sized hands (seriously, I have huge hands.  Ask anyone) and it is just about the silliest thing you've ever seen.  And.  I.  Love.  It.  I picked it up quickly and have been happily strumming away since the 25th.  I never thought I'd play one instrument, let alone two (here I'm using the very loose interpretation of the word "play").  But here she sits, all smiley and happy.  A happy Christmas indeed.