Just Call Me Sodium Petothal

It's been quite a while since I last posted here. Like, QUITE a while. And I'm not exactly sure why, because it isn't like I haven't been a) using the internet in the last 6 months or b) writing. I've been writing a lot. Ok, maybe not a lot. But I've been writing.

But not really.

I always feel silly posting on this blog and I don't quite know why. Maybe it is that I am uncomfortable with blog culture, that I feel like there are so many 20 something girls out there with blogs that me writing her makes the whole thing cliche, maybe it is because of people I once worked with in the blogging world and how I feel uncomfortable that I can't talk about what went down for fear of starting some sort of strange, not at all relevant, internet fight where mean things are said (though what could be more hurtful than being totally ignored and cut out of a person's life unceremoniously, I don't know). Maybe. A sea of maybes. A long string of never ending maybes.

So here's the deal: I've decided to say fuck it.

Fuck it to the entire thing, to all my hang ups about blogging to "Oh you can't swear here" and "Oh, don't talk about that here" and on and on and on. The biggest thing I've learned since turning 25 is that you just have to do you. Do what is best for you. My incredibly smart roommate put it to me this way--this is a time to be selfish. It is the only time in your life when you are allowed (and even expected) to be selfish.

My 20s are a gift. And I don't intend on wasting any more of it.

I'm going to speak my truth, even if that truth makes me uncomfortable or unpopular. At 25 years and 4 months, isn't it time to be truthful?