Friday, August 27, 2010

Oooo, Eeeee...

This video makes me insanely happy.  Jason Sudekis is pretty much the best part of the whole thing.  I've been needing a little pick me up like this all week.  

Actually, for the past 2 weeks.  

In fact, it probably since the last time I posted.

Work has kicked into high gear, as has the show I'm stage managing/assistant directing, and I am finding it harder and harder to keep my energy up.  Between my job, the show, and the hour and a half I end up commuting each day, I am exhausted.  I am so drained yesterday that I literally asked the universe for help.  Out loud.  I said, "Please, Universe, I've got no energy left, help."  It's pretty humbling when you find yourself in a place where all you can do is ask the world, the great void, the universe for help.  My energy is totally tapped out.  I feel like I am running on empty, which is making me grumpy and mean and making me feel sick all the time.  I'm 23 years old, for goodness sake, I should not be as tired as I have been.  I make a conscious decision not to bring work home with me so that I get a break, but when the break is just the time it takes to brush your teeth and wash your face before you get into bed and start it all over again, that isn't enough.  

I think this is why I have been feeling so compelled to play the guitar lately--it is something that I can do just for me.  I can practice and sing and feel the music flow through me and it reminds me that I am connected to everything around me and I am not so alone in the world.  Now I've got these Kurt Cobain calluses and I'm actually getting better for the first time in my life.  I can play some of the things I've always wanted to play and I can put my own little spin on them (hello, Justin Timberlake cover).  I mean, I'm not nearly as good as I hope to be one day, but I'm on the road, you know?  It has been a long time since I felt like that.  Like I was really on the road to something.  In my head I know that I am on the road to being back on the East Coast and to grad school, but it sometimes it feels so far off.  It is nice to have some goals that feel truly attainable.

On The Road
photo from here

1 comment:

  1. i remember what it was like to be stretched beyond reason. it brings you to a place where good things happen. like your guitar playing . Breaking points bring you to the place the universe wants you to be....... this i truly know , so don't loose heat just keep playing and asking out loud for help!!
    take care, Jody.( the woman who went thru hell to get to a great place)